Happy Birthday, Teen L!

Happy 14th Birthday!!

The bubble(less) bath

Last night we put Not-So-Baby H and Nonami in the bathtub. Upon NSBH's request, Mr. MFBA filled the tub with bubbles. This is when the screaming began; Nonami became hysterical over the bubbles. He screeched, refused to sit down, smacked the bubbles, etc until he was given the choice to sit down or get out.

10 minutes later I hear NSBH hollering for me. When I get to the threshold I am greeted by water running out in to the hall. There is 1/4" of water covering the entire bathroom floor and a triumphant Nonami proclaiming the bubbles gone.

You have no idea how hard it was for us to keep our "stern that was bad" faces on in the face of such funny problem solving.

Teen L and a new school year

Teen L began the school year with a new attitude. She actually wants to do her work and turn it in to her teachers. Three weeks in to the school year, the results have been mixed but much, much better than anything from last year. By this time last year she was failing (or had a D) in all classes but two, this year she has A's, a B, and one C. Some assignments have been late because she leaves them in her locker but late now could be considered on time when compared to past performance.

She has been taking her medicine without being told. This was such a fight last year when she decided that she did not want to take it and wasn't going to take it unless we stood watching and checked her mouth.

There has been only phone call from a teacher and it was not negative. Nearly a formality to agree on a time frame for late work as called for in her 504 plan. The teacher also expressed her enjoyment in having Teen L as a student and wanted to let me know how polite and respectful in Teen L has been towards her. Being a good mother, I refrained from laughing and telling her about Teen L's recent outburst in which she said fucking 3 times and referred to Not-So-Baby H as a fucking damn moron.*

We are still checking her grades daily. This was so crazy making last year that we had it down to once a week to forgo the pain. I am hoping that she will continue to work on self-advocating and taking responsibility so that we can back off some.

She wants to participate in several school activities this year. Participation hinges on maintaining a C average. I suspect this has something to do with her new attitude. I don't care what the reason I am just keeping my fingers crossed that we are turning a corner in the struggle that is ADHD.

*The only reason the child is still alive because I willed myself to not go near her for fear of ripping her mouth off or removing a limb.

Because I haven't talked about bipolar lately

One of the most frustrating features, to me, of having bipolar disorder is the inconsistency of my symptoms. That may sound odd since since by definition bipolar disorder is a switch between mania and depression with mixed and "normal" states thrown in for good measure. Where the frustration comes from is that I am medicated.

I take three medications to help keep my mood in check. They do work; I have not been happy manic nor severely depressed since my last hospital stay (March 2008 in case, like Mr. MFBA, you are keeping count) but I still cycle. I don't have enough happy to suit me and my ability to cope is nearly non-existent.

By cope with things, I mean little every day things. Big things (Mr. MFBA losing his job) I handle with relative ease while small things (losing the car keys) leave my enraged and crying. The anxiety and pressure I feel about having to do things or go places has become almost unbearable.

I have given up my Girl Scout troop, did not sign up for a single position to help in Not-So-Baby H's classroom, turned down the requests to really get involved with the P.T.O. (seems they like vocal people), and dumped any other commitment that requires my time. While I am perfectly fine once I am at my destination and usually enjoy myself, gynecologist notwithstanding, it is an exercise in craziness calming to get there.

I can do one thing a day. One! Do you have any idea how impractical that is in a family of 5 plus 6 furry creatures? If I have therapy there can be nothing else scheduled for the day or it can only occur if Mr. MFBA is here to handle whatever it may be. One class, one lesson, one appointment; the length or distance of the "event" does not matter.

Today is a two day thing, Girl Scout meeting which I must attend to meet the leader and give her my paperwork from last year and group. Rationally I know this is not much but I already have a headache. It didn't used to be this way.

I hate to say it but I am truly hoping there is a pill to "fix" this stage. I don't want to work through it or examine what could be the root cause. I just want it to go away.

*As always, these statements reflect my opinions and dealings with the illness.

The one thing you never say to a pregnant woman

The list of things you should not say to a pregnant woman is long but commenting on their size, especially if they are "big", is a really big no-no.

Enter Mr. MFBA who managed to insult our niece-in-law not once but twice at her baby shower.

"Wow, you really are big"

"You are so much bigger than ccw ever got with all three kids"

I will admit that she is very pregnant looking and looks downright miserable with 7 weeks still to go but never would I say such a thing. I opted for, "Lindsay, you look beautiful".

I will never know what possessed him. I didn't know whether to laugh at his stupidity or drop kick him.

I'm certain they will come home liberals

I sent my kids to school today knowing they will be indoctrinated by the liberal army's commanding officer, Barack Obama. I did so knowing full well they may never be the same. Just think of all the many things that could be planted in to my angel babies minds in 15-20 minutes.

There is one saving grace: many will not pay attention and many will not remember a word of the address a week from now.

Whew! Disaster averted. Now, my kids can back to doing the permissible poems, essays, and papers about the Presidents in which they tell of their policies and lives. They can return to writing their "Dear Mr. President" letters in which they tell him what they would do if they were President.*

And as a parent, I can sleep soundly knowing that he may have had his 15 minutes but my children's teachers have day after day with them and I know their political views completely follow mine.

*Before you point out the obvious there is a HUGE difference between this type of assignment and answering how you could help the President!

Hard to swallow...

...only it's not.

Another thing I hate about being crazy: the ability to swallow a gazillion pills at once.

An added annoyance: I usually end up taking them with coffee.

This seems abnormal to me but I won't start feeling really bad until I am swallowing them dry.

Chris Brown's poor memory

I would need many a blog post to express all of my opinions about the tumultuous relationship between Chris Brown and Rihanna. However, his latest statement has me wanting to scream. In case you haven't heard, he has no memory of hitting her. This has now been changed to "I misspoke" and that answer was taken out of context and yet it still makes me crazy. Legally he has taken responsibility but could he take personal responsibility for his actions, already?

"I just look at it like, wow, I'm in shock, because, first of all, that's not who I am as a person, and that's not who I promise I want to be," Brown said in a video posted on CNN's website. "So when I look at the police reports or hear about the police reports, I just don't know what to think."

I can think of all sorts of things he could be thinking out loud because the "I don't remember, among other things, putting her in a headlock that cut off her breathing until she started to lose consciousness, threatening to kill her, or biting her ear and fingers" shouldn't ever be an acceptable answer.

He feels "totally ashamed" and he should. Now, I wish he would just give the bullshit a rest and say something that doesn't sound arrogant or PR contrived.